coffee talk / friendships – active or passive?


friendship / photo by momomi
Let’s talk about friends. Are we friends? What makes a friend and how do I fit someone into that category of ‘friend’? Do you maintain that relationship, and if so, how?

I’ve migrated a few times, have had friends move from state to state, as I’m sure many of you have as well. This is a common life concept – the whole moving away [physically or emotionally] from your roots and setting up shop elsewhere. When I was a kid there was a song that said, “Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other’s gold.” Anyone, anyone? There’s definitely value to both kinds of friendships, but sometimes’s it’s hard to keep the old or maintain what was once there.

Concentric circles are often used to illustrate relationships where the people in your life can move about the different circles, further or closer to your heart. I totally agree with this model and believe that relationships are meant to change over time and are never in the same place once, but I’ve also determined that they can either be active or passive. The active friendships are the ones you constantly [or at least somewhat consistently] maintain – the people you live your daily life with or keep up with often from a distance in whatever medium you choose. The passive friendships are the ones where you may go months and months without talking and when you see each other it’s like no time has passed. They don’t really take maintenance per se because your history and level of friendship has already been established. There’s nothing wrong with these relationships, in fact there’s something quite sweet about them, but the passive ones are the kind I struggle with the most and I haven’t quite figured out why [though I'm fairly certain it has to do with my self worth insecurities]. I think part of it is realizing the hard truth that relationships are frequently lopsided – that one person may care more and thus put in more effort than the other to maintain or grow it, and it’s dreadfully painful to be on that end of it but hey…it happens. To me, putting in the effort from afar shows how much you value that friendship, but of course we all have different love languages so at the end of the day it’s truly hard to gauge and I should just let it go, love regardless of reciprocated efforts, and live on. So that’s what I’ve been doing and will continue to do – live on. Cheers to friends!

[ photo by momomi ]

pinterest picks


Zara Skort Grey Tee Silver Sandals Beaded Clutch Ferm Living Shelf / DESIGNLOVEFEST
The Salt & Wood
Three Pinterest picks to kick off the week! There are so many pretty things to browse through lately. Follow mine here!

1 / This white + gray outfit – love that Zara skort!

2 / The Ferm Living round hanging shelf featured on Bri’s bedroom makeoveer

3 / The Salt & Wood, Eclectic Rhapsody, Akin Minds

project #look7in7 / six


#look7in7 / run river north - growing up
After going to an amazing Run River North [formerly Monsters Calling Home] show, I decided to pen another lyric from one of their songs and one of my favorites, Growing Up for my #look7in7.

project #look7in7 / five


happiness / petitely
A little snippet of a line from one of my current favorite country songs with a mix of hand-lettered via Illustrator elements and typeset for another #look7in7 project!

Good golly, this week is tough!

project #look7in7 / four


chat & chew
A month or two ago I strolled into my roommate‘s room and suggested we try to cook together to encourage each other to eat healthier, cook more, have a variety in our packed lunches, and save money [I know, shocker.]. We hadn’t been very good about it, and then I thought it might be better to have an incentive or a goal so we came up with this idea and named it chat & chew.

Essentially chat & chew is a casual way to meet someone new and have a good weekday night swapping stories and lots of laughter over a home-cooked meal. The idea behind it is that Angela and I each invites one friend and that friend brings a friend along with a side or dessert to share. We provide the main dish for the night, and then it also becomes a way for us to try new things and cook more often in general. It’s a small group of 6 – big enough for multiple conversations to happen while we’re still prepping as people arrive + mingle over drinks and intimate enough that we can cozy up on couches at the end of the night in our little DC apartment.

It was such an organically successful night that I decided to come up with a little logo and tag line for my #look7in7. I can’t wait to host more chat & chews!

project #look7in7 / three


#look7in7 / bloom where you're planted
Ah, I know I’m behind at posting these but here is day 3 of #look7in7 with an iPhone photo I snapped while weaving through the crowds at the tidal basin to see the cherry blossoms again. I overlayed it with part hand drawn text and part typeset. Super simple for a busy weekend! Curious as to what the musicians and writers are up to? See the rest of SEVEN-in-SEVEN.

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